In my 40s and 50s, I experienced a profound sense of transformation. It is a time of self-discovery and growth, whether we choose to embrace it or not. Eric Erickson, a renowned psychologist whom I studied at length in my professional journey, referred to this stage as “Generativity vs. Stagnation,” highlighting the importance of finding purpose and contributing to society.

As I navigate through this seventh stage of life, I have to admit I give a bit of an eye roll as my age group gradually descends to the bottom of the list. However, instead of dwelling on the passing years, I choose to fully embrace each one. With every year that goes by, I embrace the person I am confidently, knowing this is who I am meant to be.

I share countless stories of my journey to self-discovery in my 20s and 30s in my book “God Made Me Sassy” as I searched for my true identity. It wasn’t until I anchored myself into the role of a mother to my beautiful daughter that I began to find a sense of purpose. As the approach to my 40th birthday drew near, I welcomed it with excitement and enthusiasm. I recall Oprah herself promising that this would be the best decade yet. Perhaps she said that because she had not yet reached 50 herself.

Eric Erickson’s “Generativity vs. Stagnation” is the seventh stage of his psychosocial development theory. The stage begins at 40 and continues through 65, during which individuals focus on contributing to future generations and society. Generativity involves nurturing, mentoring, and making meaningful contributions. Stagnation refers to a lack of growth and fulfillment. Balancing generativity and avoiding stagnation is crucial for a fulfilling life.

Life in transition can be both exhilarating and challenging. As we enter this new phase of life, we often find ourselves navigating a multitude of changes and adjustments.

One of the most significant transitions is the shift in priorities. Particularly after 50 many of us start to reevaluate what truly matters to us. We may find ourselves focusing more on personal fulfillment, pursuing long-held passions, and cherishing meaningful relationships. This transition allows us to prioritize our own happiness and well-being, embracing new opportunities and experiences.

Another aspect of life in transition after 50 is the changing dynamics of work and career. Some of us may choose to continue working, exploring new avenues, or starting a second or even third career. Others may opt for a more flexible schedule or retirement, allowing us to pursue other interests and spend more time with loved ones. This shift in our professional lives offers a chance to redefine success and find fulfillment in different ways.

Life in transition is a time of growth, self-discovery, and adaptation. It presents us with the opportunity to redefine our priorities, explore new possibilities, and embrace the changes that come with age. While the journey may have its challenges, it is also a time of great potential and fulfillment. So, let’s embark on this new chapter with open hearts and minds, ready to embrace all that life has to offer.

Truthfully, I have found joy and challenges in every decade of my life. Now, as I knock on the door of 55, I am filled with anticipation and excitement for what lies ahead. Each passing year brings me closer to that milestone of 60, and I welcome it with open arms. Today, I am truly free from the constraints and falsehoods of my past. I am comfortable in my own skin, embracing my true self, and living the life I was created to live.

Who? What? Why? When? Where? This is what we are taught growing up as the five essential concepts for a good paper. However, in life, there are two that are the most important to know about ourselves and what we are called to do to move forward in life. It is essential to know what we want and why we want it. Everything else requires trust and divine guidance in order to move forward. These questions delve into our understanding of ourselves and the purpose we serve, propelling us forward in life.

This was a common struggle for me during my youth and in my 20s. I found myself lost, unsure of who I truly was, and lacking a clear sense of direction for my future. Without this self-awareness, it became challenging to navigate through life and make informed decisions during this transformative period.

I vividly recall feeling envious of those who seemed to have it all figured out, with a clear sense of purpose and direction in their lives. Their certainty made me yearn for the same level of clarity and direction. However, my journey took a different course, resembling a game of “Chutes and Ladders” with unexpected twists and turns along the way.

Each step I took was an opportunity for self-discovery, and while it may have felt uncertain and challenging at times, it allowed me to uncover hidden talents, passions, and aspirations. Embracing the unexpected, I learned to adapt and find joy in the journey itself rather than solely focusing on reaching a specific destination.

Looking back, I now appreciate the unique path I traveled. It was through those twists and turns that I gained a deeper understanding of myself, my values, and what truly mattered to me. This self-discovery process not only shaped who I am today but also provided me with a strong foundation to chart a fulfilling and purposeful life moving forward.

In my 30s, which some might consider a late bloomer, I had a significant breakthrough in discovering my true self. This revelation came with the birth of my daughter, as becoming a parent brought forth a newfound sense of purpose and self-awareness. However, despite this profound personal growth, I found myself still operating under the influence of external expectations and following a path that didn’t align with my authentic self. As a result, I experienced feelings of frustration and overall dissatisfaction with my life.

This realization marked a turning point in my life. I began to question the choices I had made and the direction I was heading in. I recognized that I needed to align my actions and decisions with my true identity and values. It was a transformative process of introspection, self-reflection, and exploration.

As I delved deeper into understanding who I truly was, I discovered new passions, talents, and dreams that had long been buried beneath the surface. I embraced the idea that my journey was not just about being a mother but also about fulfilling my own potential and living a life that was true to myself.

Through this process of self-discovery, I not only found my own path but also gained the confidence and clarity to pursue it. I became aware of the power of authenticity and the importance of aligning my actions with my true desires and aspirations. This newfound sense of purpose and fulfillment not only benefited me but also allowed me to provide my daughter with a role model who was genuinely living her life to the fullest.

Today, in my 50s, I am firm and nonnegotiable. I truly understand the difference between joy and happiness, and by living in alignment, I can help not only my daughter but others elevate and step into their divine purpose. It all starts with answering the question what do I want, and why do I want it?

The words “never give in or give up” hold tremendous power in the face of adversity. They serve as a constant reminder of the importance of perseverance and resilience. These words encourage us to push through difficult times and keep moving forward, even when it feels easier to quit.

Life is full of challenges and setbacks. It is during these moments of struggle that our true strength and character are put to the test. It is natural to feel discouraged and tempted to give up when faced with adversity. However, it is in these moments that we have the opportunity to grow and learn. By persevering through challenges, we develop resilience and become stronger individuals.

Recently, I found myself in a state of stagnation and lacking motivation. Living with chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia, I have experienced physical exhaustion and setbacks. The negative thoughts in my mind can start to overwhelm me, filling my head with doubts and uncertainties. They threaten to plant the seed of doubt. However, I refuse to let these conditions define me. I am more than my health issues, and I am determined to live a life filled with hope, joy, and endless possibilities.

There are days when I need to take a step back and give myself permission to engage in self-care. These moments are not a sign of giving up; they are necessary for rest and reflection. It is important to listen to our bodies and take care of ourselves, but it is equally important to continue fighting for the life we desire.

Giving in or giving up means accepting defeat and settling for less than we deserve. It means relinquishing the opportunity for growth, learning, and achievement. It means allowing fear and doubt to dictate our actions rather than pushing through and pursuing our goals.

Amidst the frustrations and obstacles, I have learned to control my thoughts and find inner strength and resilience. I surround myself with a supportive community and fill my life with uplifting content. I immerse myself in the beauty around me, finding inspiration and joy in every aspect of life.

I have adopted a mindset of perseverance and determination. I understand that setbacks are temporary and merely moments of reflection on our journey toward success. Each challenge presents an opportunity for growth and learning. By persisting through difficulties, we develop new skills, gain wisdom, and become stronger individuals.

When I find myself in a state of pause, I take the time to rest and reflect. I reassess what is working, what is not, and what areas I need to focus on. It is a chance to tap into my creativity, learn from my experiences, and acquire new knowledge and skills that will propel me forward.

As I have shared in my writings, I have overcome more than just health issues. Life has a way of throwing unexpected obstacles my way, yet I have always managed to bounce back. It is in the process of overcoming that true growth occurs, more so than in the experience itself. These experiences shape us into stronger and wiser individuals.

As the “Comeback Kid,” I possess a unique perspective on life and the challenges it presents. It hasn’t always been this way. There were dark days and moments of despair. But as I have shifted my mindset and changed the way I view the world, I aspire to be a true inspiration. I have mastered the art of rising above adversity and emerging stronger. I look to God and the inner strength within me to overcome. When feeling low, I start with gratitude, surround myself with positive words, and find beauty in my surroundings to shift my perspective and live beyond my circumstances.

In our fast-paced and achievement-oriented society, the concept of surrender is often seen as a sign of weakness or defeat. We are constantly encouraged to strive for success, to push ourselves beyond our limits, and to never give up. However, there is great wisdom in the ancient philosophy of surrender, which teaches us that sometimes, the most powerful action we can take is to let go.

Surrender does not mean giving up or abandoning our goals and dreams. It is not a passive act of resignation but rather an active choice to release our attachment to outcomes and to trust in a higher power or the natural flow of life. It requires a deep sense of humility and a willingness to surrender our ego-driven desires and expectations.

When we constantly strive and try to control every aspect of our lives, we often find ourselves exhausted, stressed, and disconnected from our true selves. We become trapped in a cycle of endless striving, always chasing after the next achievement or milestone. But in the pursuit of success, we may lose sight of what truly matters – our well-being, our relationships, and our inner peace.

Surrendering is an invitation to let go of our need for control and to embrace the present moment. It is an invitation to trust in the wisdom of the universe and to have faith that everything is unfolding exactly as it should. When we surrender, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and opportunities that we may have never considered before. We allow ourselves to be guided by intuition and to flow with the natural rhythm of life.

Surrendering also requires us to face our fears and confront the aspects of ourselves that we may have been avoiding. It requires us to let go of our attachments to our past failures and disappointments and to embrace the lessons and growth that they have brought us. In surrendering, we find the strength to forgive ourselves and others and to release any resentments or grudges that may be holding us back.

With my move to New York a year ago, It was not mere chance but rather a fortuitous alignment of circumstances that led me to land on Lexington Avenue in the bustling city of Manhattan, New York. I nearly missed this opportunity, as I was hesitant to let go of the familiar comforts of New Orleans. However, it is often said that the divine intervenes in our lives to disrupt our complacency and compel us to relinquish our grip on the past. And so, surrendering to the uncertainty of the unknown, I embraced the myriad challenges that awaited me in the concrete jungle of Manhattan. It was amidst these trials and tribulations that I discovered my true purpose and calling. My life continues to unfold as my surrender requires daily practice and focus with intention. This keeps me centered with awareness and openness to receive what is next in my life.

In my journey through life, embracing change, renewal, and openness to what lies ahead has not always come naturally. There were times when I clung stubbornly to the familiar, fearing the unknown and desperately trying to manipulate my surroundings. However, I soon discovered that my efforts to maintain control only exacerbated the situation. In an attempt to conceal my errors, I would inadvertently make more mistakes, digging myself into a deeper hole. This misguided approach extended beyond personal blunders, infiltrating my relationships and financial choices, among other areas.

By surrendering, we create space for miracles and unexpected blessings to enter our lives. When we let go of our need for control, we allow the universe to work its magic in ways that we could never have imagined. We open ourselves up to receive guidance and support from sources beyond our own limited understanding.

Our society may value relentless striving and the never-ending pursuit of success; there is great wisdom in the philosophy of surrender. Surrendering is not a sign of weakness but rather a courageous act of trust and humility. It invites us to let go of our need for control and to embrace the present moment. By surrendering, we open ourselves up to new possibilities, growth, and unexpected blessings. So, let us stop trying and surrender, for in surrendering, we may find the true peace and fulfillment that we have been seeking all along.

Read my story in my book, God Made Me Sassy…Then He Taught Me Grace in presale now.

Take a few minutes to follow me on Facebook and Instagram.

I look forward to connecting.