I am My Fathers Daughter

My dad was a very stoic man and those that did not know him found themselves quite intimidated. His quiet and stern appearance was downright frightening to many. I would have to say he could be scary but his young girl did get to see an abundance of joy in him as well. He liked to play and laugh with us in those early days. I recall one Mardi Gras his joining in the fun with my mom’s costuming as a family bringing the fairy tale of little red riding hood to life. He was a good sport with this despite his overall dislike of the carnival season. His experience was probably tainted from serving as a New Orleans police officer. My dad’s overall authoritarian style of parenting was probably established somewhat through his experiences as a police officer and prior to that a military police officer. As I stated earlier our lives are created by our own experiences and the experiences of others.

There are some other things I need to mention about my dad. As I look back I realize I am more like my dad than my mom. I did get to experience being daddy’s little girl for a period of time. Witnessing his dedication, loyalty and integrity, watching him make life decisions for his family, standing firm in what he believes in and as a result, I learned important principles needed to succeed in life. I also learned through many painful lessons each positive trait has an underbelly. This would be where most of my conflict over the years would come in. See, the other side of dedication, loyalty, and integrity is stubbornness, strictness and inflexibility. I grew up in a black and white world where thinking, or daring to live outside the box, was unacceptable.

My dad was also the oldest of five siblings in a family that came from humble means. His parents were entrepreneurs that owned a famous Poorboy shop in the city of New Orleans. I never heard any bad stories of his upbringing. In actuality his childhood sounded exciting and adventurous. I have to remember that my dad was also not very vocal so I guess sharing stories, though he did, were few and far between. My dad being the oldest I’m certain came with some responsibility. According to Adler’s theory of birth order, first born children have characteristics of being authoritarian, or a strict feeling of a need for power or authority. Sound familiar? His growing up in a small house with so many people I am certain played in his drive to have more and be able to offer more. He left the police force to receive his college degree, the second in his family to go to college. He would have been the first except his love and dedication to his country called him in another direction. Another family trait he would pass on to me. When passionate about something you have to support being redirected changing the course of your life. As I grew I would take this a step further in following my passions and pursuing my dream.

So I was opposite in birth order from my dad as the only girl and baby. The characteristics that I innately had along with those that were nurtured were my dependency and being controlled. The reinforcement was that I couldn’t do things on my own. The similarities between my dad and me would be my loyalty and making decisions based on the needs of others. In contrast, the personality traits between my dad and me that were completely opposite were my striving for independence and being a bit of a risk taker. In my upbringing, taking risks was unheard of. What was taught was mitigating risk, eliminating them at all cost. As for independence I was taught girls didn’t need this nor did they need to aspire to reach this. I was taught men will always have authority, and the needs of boys are different and more important. I would spend much of my life feeling shut down or fighting against these concepts. Later I would refuse to accept no and display all that sass!

That sass too would need to be nurtured and shaped for good. Probably the greatest formation and dedication of this was working against the grain to find my purpose and my passion over what I was supposed to do. This journey was not without failure and catastrophic events. I did however through this, master living in the applied world over theory. What I mean by this is I didn’t only absorb the knowledge that I learned in both the classroom and life, I learned how to use it. This is one of the important skills in becoming successful in any venture in life. This application will help overcome the other 30 reasons people fail in life as identified in Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich”. I myself through discoveries ( often referred to as mistakes) have learned to master almost all of those reasons. I am a constant work in progress and I often say, God is not done with me yet!

If you are stuck on the hamster wheel or dissatisfied with life, seek more inspiration. You can also read more of my story in my book, God Made Me Sassy…Then He Taught Me Grace in presale now.

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